I Wish Things Could Be Different

Special needs, single parent, single mom, special needs, children with Special Needs, single mother, single parents meet, special needs child, autistic child, special needs adults, Residential homes, God, Faith, disabled, God Faith, faith in God, raising child with Special Needs, birth defect, deaf, blind, charge syndrome, disabilities, deafblind, trust, trusting God, son, congenital defect, syndrome, Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, CHOP, sick,
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A few days ago, I ended a phone call with my son’s father.

We don’t talk very much anymore.

We try are best, to work together for Nate.

But, we have different views of Nate’s residential home and why Nate has been combative lately.

And within a few minutes of our conversation, it became heated where I was yelling and he was yelling. He was over talking me and I was over talking him. I was angry and He was angry. He wasn’t hearing me and I wasn’t hearing him. No one was hearing each other.

And when the heat dissolved there was quietness on the phone.

Then my voice trembled, with tears slowly streaming down my face, as my heart softly spoke into the phone.

“I wish things could be different.”

I wish that Nate could have stayed home with me.

Perhaps quit my job.

I wish that I could do something else that would allow me to provide for us financially.  So he could stay at home.

Perhaps becoming a successful author and writer….what I have always dreamed about.  Of course one that made money.

“All so Nate could be with me.”

I wish that things could be different.

Charlene

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    • 2
      Charlene

      Thank you for the hugs. This week has definitely been hard. This weekend I wasn’t as engaged in my blog. Just feeling a little bad. I will be blogging about the residential home a lot soon. A lot going on, that I’m not happy about.

  1. 3
    Elizabeth

    I am sorry that there are still opportunities to disagree with Nate’s father. You undoubtedly wish things could be different there, too. Acceptance comes and goes with challenging situations, I think. I even now wish somehow that I had had a different childhood. Peace.

    • 4
      Charlene

      I think that I wish that Nate didn’t have to go away. I love my baby. Yet, there is a battle, with it being difficult as a single mother and having the bulk of the responsibility to me wishing that he could have stayed home, with me not having the bulk of the responsibility. It seems like a no win situation.

      Thank you for understanding me.

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