I will be honest, there was a time when I didn’t like taking pictures of my son. Why? Because I wanted a perfect picture. I wanted a picture of him that captured his bright smile and his laughter, which I adored. Yet, to get what I wanted, it required time and effort.
Nate doesn’t comprehend the meaning or action of “smiling.” I can’t ask him to “Smile” and expect him to stand up straight and pose so I can snap a picture. That never happens, which would frustrate me.
In the early years of raising Nate, prior to digital photography it was difficult. Taking pictures with my 35mm camera, was subject to a “hit or miss.” I would snap photos, then I waited until they were developed to determine if I received a great picture of my child. Sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t, which annoyed me. I trashed a lot of pictures, because I didn’t believe they were worthy of sharing with others.
When digital cameras were made affordable, I purchased one, hoping it would save me money, which it did. It was now possible to take as many photographs as I wanted and erase the ones that I didn’t want.
Yet, what the digital camera didn’t alleviate was my annoyance of not getting a great picture. I became somewhat “neurotic” about getting the “perfect” and “acceptable” picture of my child.
Then one day after snapping photos with my phone, scrutinizing each one, and deleting them, I could see that, “I” had a problem. I was looking for a perfect photograph of Nate and becoming frustrated at the endless “snap and erase” that I was doing. That was when it hit me.
“This is who Nate is!”
Nate has CHARGE Syndrome. His eyes are closed because he is blind. My child, may or may not smile. There will be times that I have to coax him into smiling, by tickling his neck or the side of his stomach. And he still may not smile, and that is just how it is, which I needed to get over.
And once, I was able to accept this fact, that was when things became easier. I began taking photographs with pride, knowing that there was nothing wrong. With or without a smile, the photos represented my son, and they were “Perfect.”