The Problem With Thinking The Worst

The Problem With Thinking The Worst - Faithtoraisenate.com - Purposedrivencharlene.com - CharleneBullard.com
3 min read

For a large part of my life, I struggled with negative thinking. It was my theory that when I thought of the worst thing that could happen in any situation, I was preparing myself for hurt and disappointment.

I remember thinking the worst after my son was born.  When the doctor notified me of concerns, I allowed myself to think of the worst possible scenario. I wanted to prepare my heart for the unexpected, leaving no surprises.

While raising Nate, I did the same. When I received a phone call from his teachers or his doctors, I always assumed that the conversation would be bad. I prepared myself for them telling me something was wrong, when at times there was nothing.

When I became of believer, I learned that I should not allow myself to think the worst. I needed to trust and have faith in God. Yet, knowing this and putting this into practice was a problem for me.

Recently, I had my first mammogram. I stood in pain and anger, hating every second of the procedure. As I drove home, I inwardly sobbed, telling myself that I was not doing that again.  When I arrived home, I received a phone call from the office, telling me that I needed to return for more X-rays and an ultrasound.

I hung up the phone, and sat in anger, irritation, and annoyance, as I let my mind go on a journey of the worst things that could happen.

First, I imagined the doctor telling me that something was wrong. Then my mind flashed to all the people I knew that had breast cancer, those whom survived and those that did not. I wondered what I would do and who would take care of me. I didn’t want to burden my family.

I then began to think about my son. Who would take care of him? Who would go see him and spend the with him on the weekends and holidays?

Next, I began thinking about work. How would I work? I needed my health insurance. How would I pay my bills, since I would have to stop working?

All of these thoughts came barreling through my head in a matter of seconds. Thinking the worst made me sad and tired. So, I went to bed.

The next day, I awoke feeling horrible. I needed to pray. It was during this time that I remembered that the problem with thinking the worst was that it caused me stress.  It made me angry at a problem that didn’t exist.  Yet, most importantly, thinking the worst took my mind, my eyes, and my heart off of God.

On the day of my appointment I felt better. As I drove to the office, I noticed that my weariness was gone.  It was all because, I had replaced the negative thinking with trusting God’s outcome, believing that He would get me through anything, as long as my eyes stayed on Him.

Focusing on God is a constant battle of the heart.  It is normal to think about a problem and try to work it out in our own mind. Yet, when we keep our eyes on God, He will comfort us and give us the peace we need to get through any situation.

Faithtoraisenate.com - CharleneBullard.com - Purposedrivencharlene.com

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  1. 1
    dancingpalmtrees

    Reminds me of the expression Hope for the Best and prepare for the worst. I have to admit I was always a worrier but more idealistic when I was younger.

    I understand about Mammograms. Being that I’m flat-chested I could never turn or lean in enough. Hate those tests and yes they were always calling me back saying they found something or they wanted to redo the test. I ignored them. Doctors just like to find things to scare you.

    Between 2008 and 2015 I was in and out of more doctors offices, E.R. in various hospitals, etc… Going to the doctor made all my health problems worse. Got tired of them experimenting on me.

    Finally after my last hospitalization in March 2015 I vowed never to return and I have not. I stayed out of the hospital all of 2016 and have not gone back in 2017. Other than the eye doctor I have avoided all other doctors this year. Anyway now the co-pay has gone beyond what I can afford so lack of money made the decision for me.

    I will go to the dentist because that is completely covered. No co-pay. Other than that I will Not allow any more doctors to poke or prod me unless I’m in extreme pain or an emergency.

    • 2
      Charlene

      I completely understand. I wish I would have known about the “mammogram call back.” I didn’t know this and it scared me.
      Co-pays, I tell you, no one will be able to afford them, but the rich. 😒

  2. 5
    Elizabeth

    Our thought patterns are often established in our childhood, at least mine were. It has taken, and continues to take, conscious effort to keep my eyes on God, not my fears. Right now God has me on a “Trump fast”(not watching or listening to him) because I was paying more attention to the fear he was stirring in me than to God’s word.

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