Death is inevitable. As much as we don’t like to think about dying, it something that we will all will reach one day. There will be some that will get to that destination sooner than others, but we will all get to that place eventually.
As my son and I increase in age, the thought of not living anymore, crosses my mind. I think of Nate, as I wonder who will care for him when that day comes, when his father and I are no longer on earth.
The aching questions that race through my mind are “If one of us passes away, who will visit him?” “Who will go to his residential home and make sure that he is receiving adequate care?” “Who will bring him home for holidays or take him away in the summer to the beach?” “Who will take him swimming at the YMCA every Saturday?” And lastly, “Who will love him like we love him?”
That last question leaves me in tears. Just the thought of someone not loving Nate like I love him hurts.
I then think about the other residents that live with Nate. Those few that do not have family and are there 365 days a year, because they don’t have anyone to take them home on the weekends, during the holidays, and summer. It saddens me, as I cry even more, that I don’t want that to be Nate.
Fear takes over me, as I began to wish that I could live forever to care for Nate. Yet, I know that is not possible.
So I breathe as I try to stop the overwhelming thoughts, Then I pray, as an unexplainable peace fills me. I then realize that I can’t worry. I can’t concern myself with, tomorrow, or the future. Instead, I have to trust God, who I know will take care of Nate, long after I am gone.