While caring for my child with special needs, I never thought of the care I was providing for him as service unto God. Instead, I looked at caring for Nate as painstaking and difficult work, that I didn’t want to do.
As much as I wanted to change my thinking about caring for my son, that feeling remained. At times I complained inwardly to myself and to God, that I didn’t want this to be my life forever. I wanted something that was going to garner appreciation. I didn’t just want verbal accolades from people who viewed me highly, because I was doing a job that they couldn’t see themselves doing. Yet, I wanted more, I would selfishly say.
It wasn’t until I read the Word of God that I found an answer or perhaps, more of a conviction for the complaint of my heart.
The verse that I read in Matthew 20:28, “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Wow! I repeated to myself “God did not come for us to serve Him, but to serve others….by giving his life.” Let me say that again. Wow! And sadly, here I was complaining about caring for my son with special needs.
That verse alone, was enough to convict me for how I was viewing the care I was providing for my child. I needed to care for him with a joyful heart, instead of a heart that was angry and annoyed, because I didn’t feel as if I was being rewarded for my work. I was wrong.
This was the very moment that I understood this fact about serving. I am hear to serve my son. And when that became clear in my heart, I was able to care for my child with overwhelming gladness and joy, that I had never known existed.