God, What About Me? The Cry of A Mom Raising a Child With Special Needs

The Cry of A Mom Raising a Child With Special Needs - Faithtoraisenate.com - CharleneBullard.com - Purposedrivencharlene.com
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“God, What about me?” 

This was my cry as I raised Nate.  I surely believed that God had forgotten about me. I was the woman and mother whose sole purpose was nothing more than being the caretaker for my son with special needs. That was it!

God, What about me?

I had dreams of my own. I wanted to write and publish books. I loved to write fiction. Whenever there was an opportunity, in the busyness of my life, I would sit and write stories about life, ones that were different from my own. At times, being an author of books was all I thought about.  I wanted to sell millions of copies and be on the New York Times Best Seller list.

I also dreamed of traveling the vast earth, seeing the beautiful landscape that God created. I desired to meet people from around the world, studying different cultures and backgrounds, while increasing my knowledge about life.

However, more than anything, there was a deep longing within me for marriage. I wanted a husband. I wanted to have more children.  My mind fantasized about a big family, large holiday gatherings, and fun summer vacations.

Sadly, the years went by, and my prayers went unanswered.

“God What about Me?”

Did You forget me?  Was I lost in all the duties of raising a child with special needs? Where did my desires and dreams go?  Where did my prayer request go? Did you want me to forego them to care for my son and his behavior problems? Was caring for Nate my life’s work? Did you want me to sacrifice what I wanted to serve my child? Is this who I am, Nate’s mother and nothing more?

“God, What about Me?”

Faithtoraisenate.com - CharleneBullard.com - Purposedrivencharlene.com

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11 Comments

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    • 2
      Charlene

      Thank you so much for sharing and commenting. Yes, I will continue to remember the God hears me. You are right, he hears me in my anger, tears, and my frustration. 🙂 Amen.

    • 4
      Charlene

      Yesss, Hagar. I have thought about her a few times in my life, how God was still with her and Ishmael. He loved her in her pain. I know God loves me and will continue to care for me. His sovereign WILL will be done in my life. Thank you so much for sharing your link. God bless you! 🙂

  1. 5
    tiffanyfisher7

    Before I read your blog I read another and she said she copes by changing the way she words it. Why not me? I know our guilt gets the best of us and we often wonder why me! There is no other that was better to bring Nate up! I hope that you can still carry out your dreams and hopes and get your answered prayers.

    • 6
      Charlene

      Awwww, Thank you so much Tiffany. I appreciate your words. I have learned to change my words from “Why not me?” to God, let your will be done. This has given me the sweetest and most serene peace that I can ask for. 🙂

    • 8
      Charlene

      Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment. As you said, I truly do believe that God has heard my prayer and doesn’t forget. Thank you for reminding me. I will definitely keep believing and praying. 🙂 God bless you!

    • 10
      Charlene

      Thank you so much Elizabeth. I just want people to see that these were my real feelings when I was caring for my son. Sometimes I still want those things, but I have learned to trust God with my future and his plan. 🙂

  2. 11
    Jan DeVito

    Charlene, you are not only honest with God but your readers, too. Yes, I was taught from an early age that God knows all of our thoughts and deeds but if we verbalize and speak directly to Him, it gives us a sense of His giving our pleas a second look. While doing that once over I feel He makes the decision of whether the situation should be changed. I, too, have gone through difficulties in my life and while praying for God to help me, I realized He wouldn’t put more on me than I could bear. (I have had people tell me how stupid & naive I was to believe this). It seemed at the time when I felt I couldn’t take any more, my situation changed. I firmly believe God gives you the strength to deal with what He sends you to do and you, Charlene, are one of the strongest women I have ever met. God bless you & Nate.

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