Last year my engagement and wedding was called off.
Yes! It was!
Please don’t feel sad for me.
I will admit, I was hurt, however I didn’t cry. Perhaps the mixture of emotions from anger, disappointment, sadness, and relief (yes relief), made it difficult for tears to pour from my eyes. Instead I suffered with a numbing pain that covered my body. The feelings, made it impossible to sleep, which caused me to use over-the-counter medications for rest, however they didn’t work, I still could not sleep.
I suffered through, as I sat quietly…and angrily, but praying to God and reading my bible for help. As the days went by, my pain quickly floated away. Within weeks, I could see the feelings of hurt, slowly dissolve. After a short while I had fully recovered, and it didn’t take a year or longer, which I expected.
What do I attest to my quick healing? Prayer and reading of my Word, the Bible. It was through that time with God that I learned the following….
1- God Loves ME – It may not feel like God loved me at the time, but God does. His love has absolutely nothing to do with how a person may feel. It is constant and ever flowing. God loves and cares for me more than I could ever imagine. His love protected and revealed truth to me. I quickly understood that me not marrying that man was because I was not receiving God’s very best. God standards are higher than we can ever imagine. He can see a person’s heart, mind, and actions, way before we encounter it. So, I have learned that my breakup was nothing but an act of love and care from God. It was a true blessing.
2 – God is a healer. – I say this with a loud shout. GOD IS A HEALER! (Scream it out) He healed my feelings of anger, disappointment, and embarrassment. God removed the thoughts that plagued my mind afterward. Those thoughts of recounting the person’s actions, rewinding lies, and me wondering if all this man’s conversations and actions were genuine. After a while, those thoughts no longer bombarded my mind. God took it completely away, where I had no desire to think or talk about the man or the situation.
3 -God has a plan for me. – After my breakup, I felt lost. There was this brief feeling of “not knowing” that hit me in the face. I remember asking God, “What am I going to do now?” I had a plan one day and now I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing. Yet, through prayer, I realized that although I did not know at that exact moment, God did. And soon I began to feel His peace, showing me that I was going to be just fine and that he had a plan for me, which He continues to reveal to me daily.
So, there are the few things I have learned from my broken engagement and wedding.
I will admit, that I never planned to write about this topic. I have actually fought sharing it. I said to myself, “It is over and I don’t want to talk about it.” I don’t want to seem like a bitter woman rehashing a breakup, when that is not the case. However, after much inner deliberation, I feel that sharing this can help someone, who maybe in the process or going through the same experience.
So, if you or someone you know are going through a breakup or is continuing to hurt after one, please know that there is help. It comes by way of God. He loves you so much and does not want you to suffer in pain.
Embrace the love of God. Allow our Lord to heal your heart and your mind, leading you to the plan that He has for your life.